The Comeback

Posted on: April 4, 2011

Baby #3 came on December 17th, 2010.  It was a long, hard pregnancy riddled with things I can’t even pronounce. But little guy and I made it. I had a goal of only gaining 20 lbs and having a super healthy pregnancy. Isn’t it funny to look back out ourselves, so naive and full of dreams? Grand total weight gain was at 71 lbs. Up until 7 months, I had only gained 16
lbs, which was great, but then the proverbial shit hit the fan.  I found myself at 7 months pregnant preparing to be laid off and dissolving the company I had worked at for 5 years, having to pack up my house and prepare it for someone else to be in it and then move 2000 miles away for a better future. Or something like that. Well, I’m proud to report that I managed to gain 50 (!!!) lbs in the last 7 weeks of pregnancy.  I had a gestational diabetes test before I left, and my sugars were exactly where they needed to be, but who knows. Stress? Diabetes developed after the test? Addicted to food? Any one of these could be the answer.

Recovery was rough. I had nearly every infection and complication you could get after a c-section. I wasn’t able to really get up and walk around until about 8 weeks post-delivery (with my last c-section I was back at work after 3 weeks!) And now I am 3 months post-delivery.  My stomach stillll hasn’t shrunk down, I’ve only lost 19 lbs since delivering a 10 lb baby, I have some pretty serious Post Pardum Depression going on, bleeding stomach ulcer, incredible pain in the abdomen still, and nothing fits, nothing fits, nothing fits. I don’t even want to get out of bed in the morning. I re-enrolled in Weight Watchers when baby was 1 week old. I weighed in and was happy that I’d lost almost 26 lbs. I’ve only gone back one other time, to find I have since gained 5 lbs (probably up 10 by now) and it’s just a disaster really.  The WW program has changed to the new Points Plus Program.  I haven’t given it a fair shake, but I am so frustrated with my mental state. I keep telling myself that I should dive in, I lost over 90 lbs with the last program, however that is what is making it hard. Why fix something if it’s not broken? I am hesitant to go to the new plan because I am lazy. I knew the point values of EVERYTHING before, and now they make you use this new device called a cal-cu-lator. Uggghh…however, I must admit the iPad app for WW and Online tools is super cool and easy! I realize I could follow the old plan, but the human in me really wants the new shiny program to work, I don’t feel like the old one is good enough for me anymore.

So, my point, I do have one – I am here to bare myself to the world. While I am very much an extrovert and outgoing and enjoy self-depreciating humor, I am ironically very shy when it comes to personal things pertaining myself, especially body image. But today I declare myself an open book, and will be documenting my journey (I’m sure it’ll be about 99% struggle) online for all of my adoring fans (both of you!) This will be a test of wills. I am a musician (singer-songwriter) and am use to baring my soul to an audience, so maybe it won’t be so hard afterall.

The blog is going to be consisting of 3 parts: Food, Exercise, and the Mental Journey.



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