Shifting Perspectives

Posted on: June 16, 2011

Isn’t it funny what we see based upon our perspective? 

I’m a musician. I see a saxophone player. Some people say they see the silhouette of a woman. Our perspective leads our mind to choose one or the other.

Whenever I feel as though I’m not eating the way I should, moving enough, or maybe when I’m just depressed, I can look in the mirror and see an ugly, tired, worn out, fat me. Mostly just a fat me.

I saw this a few weeks ago, even a few days ago. I’ve seen it for the past two years. Actually, I’ve seen it all my life. No matter what I weighed or looked like to anyone else, all I could see were all of my physical shortcomings. Like most of us, I stupidly pin these shortcomings to my self-worth and self-esteem. 

Since starting this blog about two weeks ago, I have lost almost 10 lbs. My weight hasn’t budged since early January, a few weeks after delivering baby #3. Well, that’s a lie. It has gone up and down, up and down, but stayed within the same 5 pound up and down range. 

I weigh myself every day. As I’ve said before, it helps me stay honest and accountable to myself and I feel it is a very good litmus test that shows me how I am treating my body. This week I have watched it drop and drop and drop. Now, of course I’m upset that it started dropping AFTER I did my official Weight Watcher’s weigh-in, but it has been a very welcome thing for me to see.

Tonight I looked in the mirror. I didn’t see the pre-programmed image that I always see. I am sure my body doesn’t really look any different than it did 2 weeks ago, I would have noticed it in my clothes. But as I looked at myself, I started to see the silhouette of a woman who is gaining confidence and losing baggage. I felt better about myself. I felt confident. I felt really good about myself and I was able to pat myself on the back for what I’ve accomplished. Not once did I call myself fat.

These are the little victories that can never be won on the scale. They don’t come with a weight, a size, or a price tag. They come from within and they feel better than anything I can describe. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: